What of the ashes that remain?
How we can yet turn this year around
It’s that time of the year when we stop and take a look at our lives. But this time it feels different — because we’ve been staring in the proverbial mirror for a couple of months now. I might resist or deny, I could fight to convince someone, myself, that what I see isn’t real. I will surely get angry realising my failures, their stupidity or their enormity. I should be sad realising what I’ve lost, wasted, and the harm I’ve done.
We’ve all stood trial, one way or another, in 2020, and the verdict is in.
When the above depresses me, I consider this interpretation: however painful the process was, now I know myself better. I’ve gained something, through all of this, I’ve taken stock of what isn’t working in my life and, as long as I’ve still got breath in me, I can change it for the better.
This is a big one: “as long as I have breath in me”. If there’s one lesson that each of us should take home after this pandemic it’s that we don’t have as much time as we thought we did. I can’t afford to wait for things to happen, for my conditions to improve on their own. I need to act because that’s the only course that can change the shape of my life.
It isn’t over yet, we’re not in the home stretch, we’re not safe. That doesn’t matter. What will I do with this moment, when I am alive? How will I spend the next hour? The next day? If the curtain should fall on me will I walk out ashamed or proud?
The great gift that we have received, the gift paid for by the blood of so many people, is that we’ve been pulled out of the hamster wheel and forced to look at the whole picture.
What’s the point if we don’t learn something from this? What was their sacrifice for if we go back to living the exact same way when this boils over?
I’m finally doing the things that I’ve been putting off because I was afraid. I don’t have time to be afraid. Others I haven’t done because I was bitter. I learned that being bitter makes for a bitter life, short and bitter. Others still I didn’t value as much as I should have. With the distractions and the advertisements gone, I had a chance to see what’s really important for me, instead of what they think should be important. Because I valued comfort I chose not to do the hard stuff, which left me weak and vulnerable.
My ask for you is this. Don’t look away from the mirror anymore. Open your eyes to the truth of your life, to your gifts and to your failings. Get to know yourself. Then act to change one small thing for the better. That way, something good may come out of all of this. That way we have a chance to look back on 2020 and not cringe, but smile.
